The chase of getting you to love me was exciting,
It was dangerous,
Full of plagues,
Locusts waiting to devour what we had.
Would you find me attractive?
Would my character deter you?
What if you found out I slept with the devil?
The man who takes my thoughts,
Slowly twists them until they became,
The blood that’s falls down my wrists.
Whose best friend keeps me up at night,
My body engulfed by the constant shaking.
He turns your smile in bullets,
Piercing my mind,
And I rock back and forth.
And then you did?
Now the questions that kept burning in my head changed.
Now my fear of losing you was real
It was no longer a fantasy,
It was something waiting to happen.
The difference was before I thought you could fix it,
I realised you could not.
It became my burden to face my fears on my own.
I want to tell you all this,
But I fear you may judge me.
@ Neally Chingombe 2020